My dreams have been very geeky lately. Last night I dreamed my employers were taken over by this fascist multinational conglomerate. We had to wear uniforms and sit in those little chairs like in kindergarten. We were all miserable and my boss couldn't believe he'd sold his precious baby company to such evil people. We sat around whining and eating chocolate pudding laced with vodka. Mmmm vodka.

Anyway, there was a teacher named Helga who was teaching us French. She made me stand up and conjugate the verb vouloir. Just as I did, my Palm started beeping. It was like that War, What Is It Good For? episode of Seinfeld, except instead of a crappy organiser this was a Palm computer with a built-in mobile phone and television! No matter what button I pressed it would not stop, it just kept bleeping away to the sickly theme song from Neighbours. Finally, Miss Helga sat down on the Palm and it stopped. I wonder if she ended up with Barry Crocker crooning out of her arse? Either way, freaky dream.