Last night was simply roasting. I tried to sleep, but at 1am it all became too much. I bought this fan recently, but it had been sitting unassembled in its box for two weeks. I could bear the heat no longer, so I got up and tore open the box and attempted to put it all together. How hard could it be? My sister had hers in action within in ten minutes! I sat on my bed, surrounded by bits of metal and plastic and polysterene, peering at the instructions by the light of my crappy old lamp, because anything brighter would attract those annoying little insects. 2.30 am and all I had achieved was a new record for most expletives in a sentence and a crumpled up instruction booklet. And I was still hot. And very cranky. Bah! So I had to resort to my old fan, Vincent Fan Gough, who is so old and rusty that I believe he kept my grandparents cool during WWII. I tried to sleep while he shrieked and creaked away like a beginners violin lesson. Needless to say, I am a grumpy number today.