Scurvy Dog

I was slumped on the couch contemplating the meaning of life and wondering what colour to paint my toenails when on the telly appeared unto me a "song" bleated out by that annoying little tramp Vitamin C. Vitamin C? How can you just lay claim to a generic name like that? She even has a website with the just dazzling title of vitamincisgood4u.com. Sure, her hair is a revolting array of poorly-dyed citrus colours, but what next? Will all the teenies be grooving on down to the likes of Steak Diane? Stapler? Tube O' Toothpaste?

If this little hussy thinks she personifies the most refreshing of vitamins, I suggest we put her to the test! Let's dismember her unnaturally perky body and feed her to a bunch of crusty old sailors and see if she wards off scurvy! Ahoy matey!