Number Cruncher

Some statistical information about my work week thus far:

5 calls to the Help Desk
4 times Help Desk hold music was Run To Me by the Bee Gees
1 time Help Desk hold music was How Do You Mend A Broken Heart by the Bee Gees
3 red gala apples eaten
3 monitors that have ceased working in my presence
14 inches of screen in the shitty monitor I am now forced to use due to above
800 x 600 shitty resolution of above screen
2 times I accidentally stapled my finger
6 attempts at starting a report but read weblogs instead
3 out of 100 tissues left in box of Aloe Vera Kleenex
4 re-installations of Macromedia UltraDev before someone believed me that my puter was ill
3 hours computerless while puter was rebuilt
750ml orange juice drank
43 records entered into our invoicing system before I realised I didn't put them in under my name, rather same of someone away on holidays
3 number of times I said "you bloody moron!" after above occurred
1 printer that ran out of toner just as I queued up 30 page document for printing
1 times I ran away from said printer and hid in the loos til someone else discovered problem and changed cartridge.