10 Things I Don't Understand

Following Mememaster Graham et al, Ten Things Things I Wakarimasen.

1. Japanese. Despite five years of study, the only Nihongo I understand is wakarimasen, which means "I don't understand". So if you didn't understand what wakarimasen meant in the title of this post, you wouldn't have understood that this is actually a list of ten things I don't understand. Is that understood?
2. A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius. Like a neverending paperback weblog.
3. Star Wars. Luke, I am your overrated piece of crap.
4. How to dress nicely. None of my socks match. I always spill food on my clothes. And yesterday, I didn't realise til 10am that my top was on backwards.
5. Parallel parking. How the bloody hell do you swing back in and not end up being three bloody miles from the curb? I just can't do it and it shits me no end!
6. The smugness of university students.
7. My father's penchant for psychotic girlfriends.
8. Calculus. Arrrgh! Get it away from me!
9. Why every man on the planet seems immune to my endless charms.
10. Laurie Oakes. So rotund he looks like he has a baby seal stuffed down his shirt. There could be one hiding in his chin too. It's okay for a male journalist to be an eyesore but if a female presenter on Channel Nine weighed more than a lettuce, she'd be out on her arse.

Furthermore, I don't get Buffy either. It's seems Graham has sparked admissions from other non-followers. And Sarah-Michelle Gellar's face bears a haunting resemblance to a racoon.