BBQ Chicken Theatre

Speaking of chickens, you may or may not recall, I was a slave to the Colonel throughtout highschool. Here's what I learned in those three and a half years: "If you sleep with me, I'll tell you the eleven secret herbs and spices" does not work as a proposition.

BBQ Chicken Theatre: get a couple of the Colonel's tenderoast BBQ chickens. Stick a pair of tongs up its arse to hold it up. Get your audience to stand on the outside of the drive-thru window, while you crouch below it on the inside, for you are the chicken puppeteer. Fling open the curtains (drive-thru window) and it's SHOW TIME! Make your chickens dance and sing and flap their oven-roasted herb and spicey wings.

Or if the crowd is particularly hard to please, get one chicken to furiously hump the other while making various low, gutteral "bwaaaaaaaaaark bwaaaaaaaaaark" sounds til their stuffing explodes. BBQ Chicken Porn.