No Expectations

"I have to tell you something very important," the mother began. "I just finished this book that Oprah recommended!"

"Pfft."

"Shut up! And it was all about controlling parents and how they have such high expectations of their children! How this is so very traumatic for the child! So I had to call you and say I am very sorry for any pressure I put on you over the years!"

"Pressure? You? Never!"

"I just want you to know I don't have those harmful expectations of you anymore, all I want is for you to be happy and for you to be doing what you want to do, whatever you're passionate about. So I don't mind about the failed journalist thing, and if you don't do the computers for the rest of your life I don't mind about that either! So there's no expectations from me anymore!"

"Cool. I don't have any expectations of me either."

"But you can always talk to me about anything, you know? No pressure! No expectations! I am serious! Can you hold on a minute?"

The phone is dropped and I hear her toddling out of the room. There's a loud noise and giggle before she returns.

"What was that?"

"I had to fart."