Voice Recognition

After 37 minutes of muzak...

"Welcome to to Telstra's Customer Service Line!"

"Hooray!"

"We are now trialling our new service where you can make your choices simply by saying the keywords! There's no need to press buttons on your keypad! Thanks to our new voice technology, you can now simply SAY what you want to do!"

"Wot?"

"Now! Please tell me what you'd like! Accounts and Payments! Connections and Disconnections! Special Offers! Faults!"

"Oh man. What is this shit?"

"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you! Please select again from the following menu!"

"I've already heard the bloody menu!"

"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you! Please select again from the following menu!"

"Arrrgh!"

"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you! Please select again from the following menu!"

"CONNECTIONS!"

"You have selected Connections and Disconnections!"

"HURRAH!"

"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you! If you need help please say HELP!"

"I don't need help! I just want to disconnect my phone!"

"Would you like me to repeat the menu!"

"Your voice is far too perky for my liking!"

"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you! If you need help please say HELP!"

"Kill me!"