International Rescue
We went shopping with the Mothership on the weekend. It was just like the old days.
Rhiannon fell into her old role of stylist: Noooo Mum those earrings do not say Come Hither, they say Come To My Tupperware Party On Thursday night. Nooo Mum, just because the orange juice is on special doesn't mean you need five bottles of it. Nooo Mum, vertical stripes are not slimming if they're made from polyester.
I reprised my acclaimed performance as Chief Whiner: Muuum, my feet hurt. Muum, I'm hungry. Muuum, I hate K-Mart and I am not going to go in there. You can't make me. I ended up sitting on the seat outside the store next to a wheezy old guy, sulking and looking at my watch. Something about spending time with that woman strips away any maturity gained since I left home and I'm ten again.
Whining aside, Mum just looks so goofy and happy for us to be with her that I follow her (limping) around the shops and let her crap on and on. Rhiannon is smarter though, she says "I'm just going to look over here for a minute", then runs out of the store.
I was in the shoe shop, glaring at snotty children while Mum launched into a tirade about the declining quality of winter footwear under $100, when suddenly my mobile rang. Sweet relief!
"Shauna! It's me."
"Rhi?"
"Yes! You have to help me!"
"What's wrong?"
"I'm in the change room at Jeans West. Can you come over quick and tell me if this skirt looks any good?"
That has to be the most novel use of a mobile phone I've heard in awhile.
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wnp
skulking elsewhere
shauna reid my book?
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You know, Shauny, if your mum would just move here, she wouldn't have to worry about winter footwear for months.
Or here, either; we never really have what most folks would call winter.
BTW, long before the cellphone, some of us routinely had our spouses, secretaries or understanding mates page us out of boring but mandatory staff meetings. "uh oh, getting beeped; might be an emergency, gotta go find a phone. Sorry. Bye!"
Did you get your mom to sponsor you?
LOL! whenever I get separated from my mom, best friend or cousin at a mall (I'm an only child, no sisters! drat) , I just ring up their mobile phone. Remember the days of wandering endlessly for 45 minutes looking for them? no longer! :-D I just lurve cell phones....
I like the 'limping' detail. Did you do plenty of trudging and traipsing, too?
Now I have to reasses my whole image of Austrailia as a smouldering hot dusty desert.
You have winter there? I really need to poke my head out more often and find out about the world around me.
HEY look! The sun is shining!
i miss kmart. london doesn't have kmart. kmart is a happy place.
I hate K-Mart.
It's K for Krap. Of course, if it weren't for K-mart, I wouldn't be wearing these lovely pink and orange flanelette clown pants.
It's funny coz it's true.
Hey, I regularly visit the Kray-mat for winter flannie jim-jams, cheap trashy novels and the occasional cheap plant (which dies sooner rather than later, but hey - it keeps me amused) and to stare at all the trailerpark trash that queue up outside the place, waiting for it to open. Melbourne even has a 24 hour Kray-mat. What's the world coming to?
I'm not sure if your local K-mart has a 'Holly's' cafeteria, Shauny. If so, you could have camped there shovelling green jelly trifle with mock cream (that's what my local Holly's specialises in) into your face, up your nose and through your hair, spooking said snotty-nosed kiddlywinks. But, uh, that's just a suggestion...
Our local Kmart specializes in going bankrupt and having dirty floors. White dirty floors. White...trashy floors. Hmm.
I dunno. I got a DVD at KMart for $18, which is selling for $28 in Big W, and let's not even think about Sanity.
i think i need to put a note on that entry: "do not read entry, skip straight to discussion about merits of k-mart"
What merits? Kmart has merits?
Oh, but K-mart has SOME merits, MB, one not being their padded bras (it's true, I'm not ashamed. In fact I'm a fan of all boosy boosting paraphernalia). Purchased said padded bra ('Joanne' brand), and noticed midway thru the day that it had developed a big inverted crease that was visible thru my tee. Emphasis on inverted. Like a gaping chasm. Bad.
Mental note #345.a to self: never buy tights on special from Kray-mat for any reason. ANY reason. No one is desperate enough to want rings of nylon around their ankles while they are trying to look all professional at work. No one.
Kray-mat be damned.
kmart is so much better than target tho. by better, i mean cheaper and crappier, obviously. that's why kmart is my shop of choice when selecting gifts and underwear. i hate paying for things i'll never use.
Yes, unused gifties such as twee bathroom "packs" brightly spruced up according to which Hallmark Holiday the Western World is celebrating. I believe this month we are obliged to celebrate our mothers. Hanky/lavendar talc/box o'chox, anyone?
hi, would you be kind enough to give me an address for a tupperware consultant in australia.
sori if i'm in the wrong place....