Ahem.

work, you goddamn thing! *kicks server*

testing 1-2-3

God damn it, my chance at fame and fortune was ruined by infernal errors!

well it seems to be okay now.

Or internal errors, even!

infernal internal errors :P

Indeed.

Hey Shauny, how are ya? Heheh.

Infernal internals? I sense a story in there somewhere; but it might have been an error.

If a sex shop was on Big Brother, well... They sell all sorts of useful things. Need something to fix that leaking tap? The Big Brother Sex Shop! Feeling a bit peckish first thing in the morning? Why, the roofing department has just the thing!

And when you connect all the various parts together, you can make a car, or a plane, or just another piece of furniture for the spare room.

Not to mention Thermos flasks. They were made in Brentwood, you know. As the slogan goes: Keep Mrs Dawson happy: use a condom.

i know this is shameless promotion, but i've updated my webpage! and it may make you laugh Shauny. It may indeed..

that's it, im never going anywhere near Canberra while you lot are around. Ever :p

p.s. icq died on me, normal transmission sometime tommorrow. sorry :]

Canberra has that effect on people.

Ha!

(I had something astonishingly witty to say, but it's gone.)

I'm getting comment errors too! I like not being left out.

(i probably should have commented on your last entry in the last entry comments, but, que sera sera...)

the dialogue in your last entry was amazing. armistead maupin goes to cowra and becomes female and straight (well, ish, i was there that night too). promise you'll remember me when you're on your fourth novel and warner brothers is optioning the rights?

oh, and

didya get your 'putey yet? didya didya didya?!?

Questions; (1) Why, Miss S., if you're keeping your eyes closed, does it matter what Mr. Butt-ugly is doing to you? (2) What's cardamon?

1. Coz you should always ask for what you want.

Not that I would be so fickle, anyways. If he was nice and intelligent, who cares about the looks, eh?

2. Cardamon is a spice! Hence the joke. Anyway, it's not funny if I have to explain, is it?

and thanks rach, you are a champion. and yes, i have the putey! :)

She has the putey! She has the putey! Oo-wahah-oo-wahah-oo-wahah-oo-wahah!
Umm. Why am I making kookaburra noises?

i'm glad you clarified that that was a kookaburra. hehehe.

I'm with Shauny on the eyes closed thing, provided that the sexual experience involves a modicum of pleasure or flexibility. First off, the "unattractive" thing seems to imply that one is set to sleep with a 675 pound gorilla, as opposed to someone who is not expliclty 100% Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval "attractive" in the Western sense, which generally refers to someone with large breasts, emaciated limbs, a stomach flatter than a nine year old Little League player and hair that is shampooed, conditioned, permed, curled, handwashed, combed, pomaded and styled at least 352 times a day.

Essentially, I understand Shanuy's proposition here to account for the Attractive Index, a carefully wrought equation that can be expressed like so:

Attractive Index = A factor generally expressed between whom one considers ideally lovable or fuckable through brains, brawn, beauty, personality and several other factors explicitly tied into general libido and randiness.

Several offshoots of the Attractive Index can also be calculated when considering extenuating circumstances.

(Ultimate Attractive - Unattractive) X Blood Alcohol Level X Success of Conversation (Consciously Aware, Subconscious Remembered Next Morning With Hangover and Regrets) = Alcohol-Enhanced Sexual Desire Towards Other Person

Sexual Desire Towards Other Person(Alcohol-Unalcohol)/Number of Days Since Last Sexual Activity or Masturbation = The Fuck Just About Anybody Within 60 Miles Factor

The Fuck Just About Anybody Within 60 Miles Factor X (Ultimate Attractive-Unattractive) = Likelihood of Sleeping with Prospective Fuck Buddy, Just Met

(Ultimate Attractive-Unattractive) - Likelihood of Sleeping with Prospective Fuck Buddy, Just Met = Shauny's Eye Closed Factor (Explicitly Calculated Using Above Variables of "Last Time Fucked" and "Randiness")

From what I understand from Professor Henry George Harrison Tycoonidus, Shauny has inadvertently caused quite a stir in the field of Quantum Sexual Mathematics with her Eyes Closed Factor, allowing for the introduciton of endless variables for those sad souls wishing to reduce human behavior to a cold and callous equation. The Eyes Closed Factor has also accounted for the dramatic increase in Quantum Sexual Mathematics Ph.Ds in Canberra and, for that matter, Copacabana.

What someone looks like ends up associated with them themselves. So if they're nice, intelligent, interesting, and so on, and in ways that attract me towards them, then when I see them - no matter how they look - I will feel attracted towards them. I will like how they look, because, to me, it will represent them, it'll represent who they are.

So, if I find that looks are important in themselves, I'll know that the person isn't right for me (or, at least, that I haven't got to know them well enough, yet). And that counts if they're superficially attractive or unattractive.

But being a bloke, I still find superficially attractive appearances, erm, initially stimulating. But I'd rather make love than only ever fornicate.

PS: Sorry about the apparent attempt to sound mad last night. I just got it into my head that writing whatever popped into my head was the most wonderful thing in the world - no matter where I wrote it :-P

never apologise for a comment, simon! it was a good read.

and as for you, mr. ed. what movable type needs is permalinks for comments, so i can make an index of ed comments for easy referral.

this one was an instant classic. and now i want to see if ANU offers the Quantum Sexual Mathematics Ph.D.

You should make a separate blog just for Ed's comments.

And you got the puter! Woohoo! How's the adjustment? Are you phantom right-clicking all the time?

(Guestbook link is broken)

Thanks Row. It's fixed now.

Hooray! Huzzah! You've got the laptop!

I would have thought that all Big Brother questions would be stupid ones ;]

and was your response right, according to the Big Brother Board Game Stupid Question answers?

Woohoo! Finally I find a machine that lets me post comments! And on such an entry! What an entry. Beautiful. Touching. Orgasmic in its sensuous ferocity.

And I shan't say more at the moment.

There were no answers. Just questions. Infinite stupid questions. like 'would you lie about your fitness to your partner?' what kind of question is that??

i see, questions without answers. bb board game touches on all the big issues, it seems. i don't know, my partner has never asked me my body-fat-ratio or number of sit ups i can do in 10 mins. i probably would lie, so that'd be my answer to the questions without answers.

see and that's why big brother irks me.. even the board game is a type of voyeurism but into the lives of the friends you are playing with. and you dont even get to lock the ones you dont like into a small bathroom together with a camera running.

hahaha. i can almost imagine the scene of where the dialogue is said.

you little rudeys, you!