From Staples To Sniffles
Sniffer Guy has intruiged the hell out of me all week.
Monday I was all new-kid bashful and doing my best to be invisible. I looked straight at my screen all day, but was distracted by a faint sniff sniff sniff coming from a nearby desk.
Tuesday I managed to look over my shoulder without fear of turning into a pillar of salt and successfully identified the sniffer.
Wednesday I thought I had it figured out. It was one of those Laugh Sniffles, that hfffft that squeezes from your nostrils when reading a funny email but not wanting to laugh aloud lest the boss discovers you have no work to do.
By Thursday I had some more theories. The snuffling was so constant that it couldn't possibly be an email. Everybody knows that emails are never that funny. So it was either freaky allergies or shennanigans with snortable substances.
Today it was becoming all too much. Every sniff single sniff word sniff was punctuated by raspy rattly nose noise.
For fuck's sake, buddy! I wanted to whack him over the head with a box of Man Size Kleenex. Blow! BLOW!
Problem is, he's a really nice guy. So is everyone else I've met on the first week. When I did the rounds of introductions, every single one had a friendly smile for me. On Tuesday I was hunting through the fridge for my salad when someone came in for a cuppa and started talking. I looked around, briefly checked the freezer compartment, before realising they were talking to me. I was rather surprised.
I made some brilliant mates at the Other Place, but for the most part it was impossible to get a nod in the hallway. I guess that came from the pressure of deadlines, budget cuts, layoffs and general sense of doom. But here these people just seem so relaxed and smiley and I like the coziness of it all.
Thanks to the people who wrote to ask me how it was going, I got a kick out of it that you remembered. I was too chicken to write about it for awhile. Monday I was too busy crying on the phone to the Mothership that I sucked and was too stupid to do the job. But as the week went on I found myself getting the hang of things. It's the first job I've had where I've had to use my brain. Almost three years of HTML monkeying and of course my photocopying glory days, I am used to being on autopilot. It's so strange to have to think and write and talk and come up with ideas.
I don't want to say I am enjoying it, you should know by now I am ridiculously paranoid and superstitious and think if I dare to say I am happy that it will all turn to shit next week. So let me rephrase. This week was great. There was no crying in the loos from sheer boredom and frustration, no photocopying, no staple removing, no data entry.
But I do miss the staple removing.
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bwahahhaa :)
It's fucking great to hear you've got a job that isn't turning you into a zombie. Woo-hoo.
I should be passing through Canberra in a couple of weeks' time, on my way back from Sydney. It depends, though.
Umm. I forgot the smiley in the last post. :) Just in case you thought I was being sarcastic. :) :) :)
Shauny, I'm so happy for you! Congratulations on the new job that seems like it's not terrible exactly. And now, a song.
Shauny Shauny Shauny, Shauny Shauny Shauny, Shauny Shauny Shauny, Congratulations Shauny!
yay!
Damn, Shauny. That's great news. Of course, the real concern is whether the place you work for can be counted upon to hire people who know how to use their nostrils and whether this inadequate nostril activity will transmute into something terrifyingly catchy upon you. After all, you haven't let us in on how YOUR nostrils are doing.
My guess here is that Kleenex isn't tax-deductible in Canberra.
yay shauny!! and if you miss the staple removing that much i am more than happy to send you a pile of blank pieces of paper which will be stapled into bundles so you can enjoy using that wonder contraption - the staple remover!!
You thought maybe they were being chatty and friendly with the freezer contents? :)
I fear I am sniffer girl this week, bugger.
Shauny,
Have you considered offering Sniffer Guy some antihistamines? Is it Allergy Time in Australia? :)
Anyway, congratulations and I'm so glad the new job is working out for you. And you are DEFINITELY smart enough to do the job, whatever it is!! Have no fear!
My friend was sitting next to sniffer guy at a concert at the opera house lately. He said he became obsessed with the guy's sniffing, until he was ready to stand up in his seat and scream him to stop, for pity's sake stop i can't hear the kettle drum above your incessant sniffing.
Unfortunately, it was his Dad.
So, you know, maybe things could be worse.
Hurrah for Shauny! Hurrah, I say!
What is the job exactly, Shauny? Congratulations anyway!
Yaya Shauny I'm glad you like your job! :) It's nice when you realise that youdon't have to photocopy anymore. :)
(I just play with my fax machine at home between eating chocolate and patting the cats. A much nicer alternative.)
Okay Miss Shauny I'm going to tell you something really cool...
Just because things are going well in your life doesn't mean that something dreadful is about to happen.
You deserve to be happy. Good things happen to people all the time and it doesn't mean that a fatal car accident is just around the corner waiting to wipe them out!!!
Enjoy this great time in your life because you deserve some happiness.
And happiness is not a precluder to a tragedy no matter what we have been led to believe.
congrats on the new job mate!
*sniff*
Go Shaun-Dawg!
wow, your new job sounds great.
we have a throat clearer behind us at work. i am about ready to strangle him.
r0X0r!
The sniffing that makes a different pitched noise each time is the most annoying. I say give him a couple wine corks and plug up his nose and advice to him to breathe through his mouth. That should help. mwahaha
So glad to hear you're having fun. Keep up the good work? :-)
(And remember, there are websites that will tell you how to torture them if they don't treat you right.)
Well, I have the Annoying Git at my work with the same problem. It's worse when he decides to have a biscuit - eats with his mouth open too. Probably a breathing thing. He sits at the desk behind me, facing me. That *smack* Schluck* *smack* sound shall haunt me to my dying days... Or day. I'd hate to be dying for days. Or maybe that's another term for life - the dying days. Each day bringing us closer to our eventual demise. Unless you're undead. Like Brian Henderson.
Oh, and Shauny? You RAWK!
go shauny! love that you have a great job. i think what you should do is find some old 'instruction manuals' with staples in them, buy yourself a staple remover and go to town with them in your spare time!! then you'll have all the benfits of a job you enjoy + all the staple-removing goodness and power you knew before.
Oh yeah, I can relate to the sniffer-man problem. I had a similar one, but after offering tissues and making comments to no avail, I sent him a blunt email and he stopped. He's still frightened of me, months later!
Wish the rest of life was that easy.
Jane
Hey, great to hear you got a new job! What does your job involve?
Hehe my advice with the sniffler.. just go up with a friendly smile and casually offer him a kleenex. It'll show you're being considerate as opposed to offended. :)