Just Like On The Telly

Cross-posted to Lost In Transit

It's easy to forget that you're a foreigner. There's so many Aussies over here that you can blend in quite easily. But the other day I was repeatedly reminded that I sound "a wee bit funny, hen" by members of the blue rinse set...

Here in Edinburgh, I'm temping at a place that provides emergency alarms for elderly people. I call it Geriatric Rescue, or the I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up Hotline. The other day I was given a list of 150 wrinklies and told to call them up and arrange appointments for their alarms to be reprogrammed.

SHAUNA: Hello! Is that Mrs McWrinkly?

GEEZER: What? Speak up!

SHAUNA: IS THAT MRS McWRINKLY?

GEEZER: Oh aye hen. I'm deaf. What do you want?

SHAUNA: This Shauna from Blahdy Blah, I'm calling about your alarm.

GEEZER: My what!??

Once we'd taken ten minutes to establish what I was calling for, I'd launch into my spiel. But over and over, they kept interrupting me to ask about the accent. Some highlights:

"I'm not paying for this am I? I've not got a lot of money, you know."

"Sooo, you're Australian then, luvvie? Will you personally be fixing my alarm? I'd like to meet you. Ooh yes."

"But I don't understand. Why are you working for them if you're in Australia? How are you going to help me from over there?"

"Is it like Neighbours over there? It's like Neighbours, isn't it. I watch Neighbours."