Where's The Love?
I woke up when I heard the mournful cry of a harpooned whale. Actually it was the sound of a flatmate approaching orgasm. Then suddenly she was bellowing impatiently "C'mon! C'mon! C'mooonnnn! C'MON!", followed by a quick and cranky smacking sound.
You know when you have a bottle of tomato sauce (ketchup) and it just won't come out, so you tip the bottle up and smack the end of it? Hello tomato sauce, are you in there? Sure that is a pretty frustrating thing to happen. But bash it around like that and you're headed for trouble. Maybe she was just trying to be encouraging but it sounded pretty mean. Whatever butters your muffin, I guess.
So there's my sleep-in ruined. It's the 1st of November. It's my birthday, dammit.
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shauna reid my book?
Not just about fat. Also contains action, adventure, love and JOKES. OUT NOW!
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- About the book
- Where to buy
- Read the reviews
- Facebook: Go Dietgirl Go!
Happy Birthday!
(An-ti-ci-pa-a-tion...)
Happy Birthday, Shaunymunchkin!!! There'll be phone calls just as soon as we're sure you're home. Love you!
I just happened to stumble across your blog, but just had to give my two cents. Okay, I have no two cents since my brain has collpased after working the night shift, but I beleive I do have enough energy to type out two words - Happy Birthday. Many many many congrats! Hope you got a pair of earplugs from your roommate. Or tranquilizers :)
/one roommate to another.
Right, I forgot to say- You rock. Bookmarked your blog for good.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, Shauna.
thank youu... i love you i love you i love you
monkey and mattay called me! they are ever so kind.
i miss you people. miss you so much.
Audible early (at least for a Saturday) morning smacking is so very very clearly against the rules. I hope she got you something nice. Either way, I'm pretty sure you have license to party like a rock star tonight, already, as it's your frickin' birthday woohooo. One doesn't like to suggest revenge strategies, but come on: this is no time to be polite. So make a note of the morning transgression, and issue yourself a party-like-a-rockstar credit, to be redeemed when it might most inconvenience said surly smacker.
xoxoxo
and 26 (appropriately timed and only with music to drown them out) spanking-strokes
Happy Birthday!
Gee ... noisy flatmates can absolutely suck @$$.
But wow, she must really like tomato sauce.
Or am I too innocent to be getting the point here?
"Breaking the ends off green beans with your grandmother is a charming memory unless you did it for an entire summer while your friends were at the public pool learning how to kiss with their eyes closed."
Dunno what that has to do with your birthday but I figured I could contribute a laugh or two as a present. Happy Birthday Shauna! Keep the laughs coming ;)
Happy Birthday dear Shaunybabe. Hope you have a great day (think it's almost over for you now)!
Maybe that was your present from your flatmate? She gave you something to write about :)
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday Shauny! Come home to Canberra soon. The others all miss you very very much, and I'm dying to meet you. I think I was about two weeks too late last time.
(And slap your flatmate over the head. Her muffin's buttered, already!)
Girl, you need to do some serious work on your housemate mating mojo!! That tomato sauce bottle imagery ... eeeeeewwwwwww.
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :)
Happy birthday, Miss S.
Who r0Xors? Shauny r0Xors. Happy birthday hon!
Happy Birthday Lady Shauny!
the most interesting sex encouragement i've had the misfortune to hear was:
[actually i can't really write it down.]
Your blog is hysterical
I cut your hair yesterday and loved the feeling of running my fingers through your ginger locks. Have a hairy birthday babe!
Have a bonnie birthday, hen. If you find my purse anywhere, can ye flush it mah way?
Lean into that broom, Shauna. Even I can't break it. You see that? That's no way to teach curling.
Borrrrrrrrnnnnnnn on this very day, you were borrrrrrnnnn on this very dayyyyyy!
Feed me lard.
(Happy Birthday, dear Shauny!)
happy birthday!!
hope your birthday was fabulous in the end!
Happy Birthday (Yesterday)!!! I hope it was awesome.
Happy birthday Shauny!
And I missed it! I am scum. (Actually, I was on-an-island-and-not-in-range-of-net scum, but scum nonetheless.)
Hope it was a good one, chook! Happiest, happiest birthday!
BUTTERED MUFFIN! EWWWWW DOUBLE ENTENDRE (sic) EWWWWWWW.
HAPPY birthday Shauny.
I could pen you a Bono/Mothership - esque sonnet but i'm too busy with uni study!
HAPPY BDAY!
Happy Birthday! :)
Happy, happy birthday Shauna! Hope you had a great day. Take care and stay warm!
Hmmm, bugger, missed your birthday, hoped it was great. Love the blog.
Happy belated birthday, gorgeous!
Happy Belated also - you are fantastic! xo
Hippo Birdy for the 1st...
I was in hospital on my birthday...
:)
happy birthday, shauny! :-D
Holy crap. It's four days later and I've only just realised it was your birthday on Satdy. Oh well, this will make up for all the times I was a day _early_. Cheers!
And be thankful your flatmate wasn't in the bunk below you.
Happy belated!
Happy Birthday, Shauna!! :)
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
you live in another country
but i guess i once did too
lots of love to you from someone who's been reading this damn thing from right around the year dot.
we miss you shauny, when are you coming home?
thanks! you are all lovely.
and it was a fucking brilliant birthday, i must say.
who left that 'Shaun' comment? was that you monkey? you funny bastard.
billyjoe, i'm not coming home til they kick me out. April 2005 at the earliest. and thanks you for reading for so long :)
hAPPY (oops) Happy birthday!!
Hope you had fun.
I suggest you hide an alarm clock under your flatmate's bed, set to go off at 3 a.m. :) Share the pain.
Ok, it's uber late, but happy b'day. I wasn't near a puter to do it before hands sorry.
Twasn't me, hen. I'd blame naughty Witold, I would.
Happy birthday, Shauny. I like you enormously.
Happy Birthday, dammit!
Yeah man I missed it! Happy birthday! Happy late birthday.
I don't know. You got a good laugh first thing in the morning...I guess that's something.
But I do want to know what the smacking sound was--did she pop the guy/gal? one because of failure of follow through?
Belated birthday wishes. I hope you have an awesome year, and write all about it, because you've got one of the best blogs I've seen.
Happy Birthday! Hope it was great!
Did you draw the cat?
Also, Happy Birthday
Wishing you (belatedly) a very Happy Birthday.
I used to tell a joke about a woman wanting to give her husband anything he wanted for his birthday, and he requested a "hand job". Being somewhat naive and innocent she had to ask a work college how to perform said act and was informed that it was easy and all she had to do was practice on a bottle of ketchup.... you can see where this is going can't you.
Hmm, you've got a place staked out for the Wallabies vs Scotland quarter-final for Saturday morning GMT? It could get ugly, heh.
Happy Birthday, kiddo (yeah, I'm still alive)
When faced with the conudrum of reluctant ketchup, I usually resort to sticking the ass end of a fork up its end.
That image, of course, comes with the disclaimer "Do not try this at home"
Happy Belated!
Happy belated Birthday.
Fantastic Post!
Unfortunatly I am having trouble looking at Tomato Sauce.
Woah. Sounds more like frustrated hanging by a thread trying for an orgasm that just won't quite cum...
Not that I'd know anything about that.
Yikes, the catsup bottle image is a howler.
Happy birthday you amazing funny woman.
BITHDAY!?!? CRAP!
I get sick for a few days and it went right out of my head...
Happy Birthday (late though I may be!)
Or did the cat draw you?
i stole the picture! i'm an evil thieving skankface. ooh er.
shit, i really should post again before y'all abandon me...
oh man, i only just noticed the Bruce comment. Bwahahhaha
Well you can see you are not being abandoned, but please post anyway, the withdrawal pains are horrible! And Happy Birthday! I usually celebrate for a week or two, so its not even terribly belated.
Now we're both old. :P
Happy belated birthday!