Stool Boom

The three new dads were talking about their babies with the passion and in-depth analysis they used to reserve for football and chicks with enormous tits.

DAD 1:  What nappies y'usin these days?

DAD 2:  Pampers.

D1:  Size 1 or Size 2?

D2:  Size 2, I think. He's only 6 weeks old but he's a big bairn.

D1:  Aye, but not fat like.

D2:  Aye, not fat. Just a solid unit. Stevo, what nappies do you use?

DAD 3:  Pampers, mate.

D2:  That's what we're using too, but we're having problems with them.

D3:  Bet yer putting them on backwards, ya numpty!

D2:  Nooo. They're just not working. No absorption, leaking everywhere, the poor wee fellae's got shite up his back and that's not nice.

D1 & D3:  Nooo.

D1:  Do you remember their very first shite?

D2 & D3:  [faraway smiles] Aye!

D1:  It's sooo long. And it stretches out forever.

D2:  And it's black!

D3:  It's like tar. Stretchy tar.

D1:  It's boggin'.

SHAUNA:  Goodbye, maternal urges.

| | Posted in Workin' For The Man | Comments (20)

 

Comments

1 · Laika said:

Trust guys to be fascinated by shit. ;-)

2 · Sara said:

I was almost gonna agree with Mark there for a bit... ;)

it can't be good for anyone to talk about shit that detailed.

3 · rawbear said:

Same lads talk about dog shite at the dog park... without pampers!

4 · Jessie said:

I've been reading your journal for a bit and I love it! Thanks for the entertainment!

I work with a guy who thinks that we all want to hear about his kids shit, too! What is that? He describes it like his kids did something brilliant, "Last night Austin's shit was this weird green color...." it goes on and on.

Boys! Sheesh!

5 · grrowl said:

D1: It’s boggin’.

rofl, i suppose this is some kind of backward slang for something where you are... at least i hope it is. *laughs*

6 · Anne said:

Boggin' is the same as mingin' i.e. something that would make you boak.

7 · Monkey said:

I always thought the term boggin' was universal. And hi-larious.

8 · mb said:

You dudes are freaking me the HELL OUT. Boggin? Mingin? Boak? What next, wopterhammernutking?

No, wait, I guess that'll wait until Shauna visits Germany.

9 · RichGold said:

As the Mum of an eight-week old, with a stay-at-home dad, I can concur with Shauna's experiences.

It does get a little old ...

10 · RichGold said:

As the Mum of an eight-week old, with a stay-at-home dad, I can concur with Shauna's experiences.

It does get a little old ...

11 · Monkey said:

That godflame bot sure gets around. At least I hope it's a bot, and not someone so completely pathetic that they do nothing but pimp their blog in random, unrelated comments all day.

12 · adam said:

Black? It's black? How come?!

13 · Emily said:

comic post as usual, shauna. nice reading. somehow i can imagine this to be a movie scene, with ewan mcgregor as one of the daddies. :)

14 · Brian said:

Speaking as a father of two I chuckled at the entry about the baby's first shite.

It's called: meconium. I found this blurb on google:-

Meconium is a greenish-black color and very sticky, tarry in its texture.

When babies are developing in utero during pregnancy they ingest amniotic fluid and excrete it everyday which passes out through your own kidneys and urination. Meconium is the first stool a baby passes which is also a build-up of material gained during pregnancy and which must be expelled after birth.

15 · shauny said:

meconium! it has a name? arrrghhhhh!! sounds like something from another planet!

16 · kristen said:

shauna - i love, love, love the way you capture the essence of true scot in your writing.

17 · anne said:

i'm stuck between "ahhh, how sweet" and "gross!!" lol

18 · susurra said:

it's intrestin cause its not the same as grown up shite.

:)

19 · agica said:

Why, Shauny, DID you have maternal urges? ;o))

20 · rzan said:

Ah the glorious days of meconium...

It is really wierd.

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Stool Boom was published on July 16, 2004.

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