Unsolved Mysteries
There's some new developments in the Mysterious Trampoline/ Disappearing Dog Debacle of 2003.
Sometime towards the arse end of winter, the trampoline disintegrated under the weight of shagging students and the steady stream of toddlers dive-bombing off the wall. It vanished from the yard soon after that. Then suddenly, right in the middle of summer, Rothwell reappeared.
"Rothwell!" I cried, "Where have you 
been?"
"That is none of your concern. I have come for the bacon. And the name is Chip, remember?"
Please share your theories on this unsettling Dog/Trampoline business. I fear it is something as boring as Rothwell's owners keeping him inside over the winter, but it pains me to think it could be something so mundane and logical. All I know is that I have never seen the dog and the trampoline at the same time. Think about it.
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Lytrampthrophy?
simple. the dog was trapped under the trampoline for THAT ENTIRE TIME
Isn't Rothwell also the name of some US TV series about aliens living on earth? Or am I imagining things...
Really, you need to examine his coat for trampoline lycra-esque disintergration, or possibly solve the riddle of his identity, monk like, armed only with the clues of a toothpick, and a cheeky undergradutate who knows more about the trampoline than he is letting on.
Are we sure that Rothwell is indeed a dog? What you believe to be his tramp might be his landing pod. How will he get back to the home planet?
I think the observation deck from the European loo's comes in here too somehow..... just can't quite put my finger on it!
Maybe Rothwells owners have like a timeshare agreement with another family who are too fickle minded to be trusted to maintain interest in one activity only, such as jumping or pet owning. So they rotate the hobbie equipment around on a tri-monthly basis (or similar) to keep the mind stimulated. Janaury will probably bring rollerskates or a pony.
Rothwell and the trampoline are actually the same being. It's a Changeling.
I think that Rothwell probably is the equivalent of the Phoenix, except that he alternates between being reborn as a dog and as a trampoline. The trampoline died, and the dog rose from its ashes. And vice versa.